Twelfth Night: Act 1, Scene 5

      Enter MARIA and Clown     
      
      MARIA  
1.5.1      Nay, either tell me where thou hast been, or   
      I will not open my lips so wide as a bristle may   
      enter, in way of thy excuse. My lady will hang   
      thee for thy absence.   
      
      Clown  
1.5.5      Let her hang me: he that is well hanged in this   
      world needs to fear no colours.   colours deceptions, with a pun on
    "collars," hangman's nooses
      MARIA  
      Make that good.   Make that good prove it
      
      Clown  
      He shall see none to fear.   He shall see none to fear
    (Because he'll be dead.)
      MARIA  
      A good lenten answer: I can tell thee where   lenten meager (Like food during Lent.
1.5.10      that saying was born, of "I fear no colours."     Maria means it's a lame joke.)
      
      Clown  
      Where, good Mistress Mary?   
      
      MARIA  
      In the wars; and that may you be bold to say   In the wars ("coulours" = the banner of a
      in your foolery.   military unit)
      
      Clown  
      Well, God give them wisdom that have   
1.5.15      it; and that are fools, let them use their talents.   God give them . . . their talents >>>
      
      MARIA  
      Yet you will be hanged for being so long   
      absent, or to be turned away—is not that   turned away sent packing
      as good as a hanging to you?   
      
      Clown  
      Many a good hanging prevents a bad marriage;   Many . . . bad marriage (A proverb.)
1.5.20      and, for turning away, let summer bear it out.   let summer bear it out i.e., It will be
    easy to be out of the house in the warm weather.
      MARIA  
      You are resolute, then?   
      
      Clown  
      Not so, neither; but I am resolved on two   
      points—   points (Another meaning of "points" is
    "laces used to hold up breeches.")
      MARIA  
      That if one break, the other will hold; or, if both   
1.5.25      break, your gaskins fall.   gaskins breeches
      
      Clown  
      Apt, in good faith; very apt. Well, go thy way; if   apt well done, very witty (But the Clown is
      Sir Toby would leave drinking, thou wert as witty   being ironic.)
      a piece of Eve's flesh as any in Illyria.   if Sir Toby . . . in Illyria >>>
      
      MARIA  
      Peace, you rogue, no more o' that. Here comes   
1.5.30      my lady: make your excuse wisely, you were   
      best.   
      
      Exit MARIA     
      
      Clown  
      Wit, an't be thy will, put me into good fooling!   
      Those wits, that think they have thee, do very oft   thee i.e., wit
      prove fools; and I, that am sure I lack thee, may   
1.5.35      pass for a wise man: for what says Quinapalus?   Quinapalus An authority, invented by the clown.
      "Better a witty fool, than a foolish wit."   
      
      Enter OLIVIA with MALVOLIO     
      and Attendants    
      
      God bless thee, lady!   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Take the fool away.   
      
      Clown  
      Do you not hear, fellows? Take away the   
1.5.40      lady.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Go to, you're a dry fool; I'll no more of you.   Go to get outta here, drop dead, etc. | dry dull
      besides, you grow dishonest.   dishonest unreliable, wicked
      
      Clown  
      Two faults, madonna, that drink and good   madonna (A fancy way of saying "My Lady,"
      counsel will amend; for give the dry fool drink, then is   from the Italian, mia donna.)
1.5.45      the fool not dry; bid the dishonest man mend himself:   mend reform
      if he mend, he is no longer dishonest; if he cannot, let   
      the botcher mend him. Any thing that's mended is but   botcher mender of shoes or clothes
      patched; virtue that transgresses is but patched with   
      sin, and sin that amends is but patched with virtue.   
1.5.50      If that this simple syllogism will serve, so; if it will not,   
      what remedy? As there is no true cuckold but   cuckold a man sexually betrayed by his wife
      calamity, so beauty's a flower. The lady bade take away   As there . . . so beauty's a flower >>>
      the fool, therefore, I say again, take her away.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Sir, I bade them take away you.   
      
      Clown  
1.5.55      Misprision in the highest degree! Lady, "Cucullus non   misprision arrest of the wrong person
      facit monachum ": that's as much to say as I wear not   Cucullus . . . monachum the cowl does not make
      motley in my brain. Good madonna, give me leave   the monk | motley multi-colored clothing of fools
      to prove you a fool.   (The Clown's point is that his thinking isn't
    foolish.)
      OLIVIA  
      Can you do it?   
      
      Clown  
1.5.60      Dexteriously, good madonna.   dexteriously dexterously
      
      OLIVIA  
      Make your proof.   
      
      Clown  
      I must catechise you for it, madonna: good my mouse   catechise question methodically
      of virtue, answer me.   good my mouse of virtue my good virtuous
    mouse
      OLIVIA  
      Well, sir, for want of other idleness,   want of other idleness lack of any other way
1.5.65      I'll bide your proof.   of wasting time | bide endure, put up with
      
      Clown  
      Good madonna, why mournest thou?   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Good fool, for my brother's death.   
      
      Clown  
      I think his soul is in hell, madonna.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      I know his soul is in heaven, fool.   
      
      Clown  
1.5.70      The more fool, madonna, to mourn for your   
      brother's soul being in heaven. Take away the   
      fool, gentlemen.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      What think you of this fool, Malvolio? doth   
      he not mend?   mend improve (She thinks the Clown is becoming
    more amusing.)
      MALVOLIO  
1.5.75      Yes, and shall do till the pangs of death shake   Yes (He thinks the Clown is becoming more
      him. Infirmity, that decays the wise, doth ever   foolish.) | Infirmity . . . better fool. Sickness
      make the better fool.   and age always make a fool "better" (by making
    him more foolish)
      Clown  
      God send you, sir, a speedy infirmity, for the   
      better increasing your folly! Sir Toby will be   
1.5.80      sworn that I am no fox; but he will not pass his   fox crafty person | pass pledge
      word for two pence that you are no fool.   pence pennies
      
      OLIVIA  
      How say you to that, Malvolio?   
      
      MALVOLIO  
      I marvel your ladyship takes delight in such a barren   
      rascal. I saw him put down the other day with   with by
1.5.85      an ordinary fool that has no more brain than a stone.   ordinary fool natural fool, idiot
      Look you now, he's out of his guard already. Unless   out of his guard off his game, without a witty reply
      you laugh and minister occasion to him, he is gagged.   minister occasion provide openings (for his jests)
      I protest, I take these wise men, that crow so at these   protest declare | crow laugh loudly
      set kind of fools, no better than the fools' zanies.   set kind of fools professional fools
    zanies sidekicks
      OLIVIA  
1.5.90      Oh, you are sick of self-love, Malvolio, and taste   of with
      with a distempered appetite. To be generous,   distempered sickly
      guiltless and of free disposition, is to take those   free open-minded
      things for bird-bolts that you deem cannon-bullets:   bird-bolts blunt arrows for shooting birds
      there is no slander in an allowed fool, though he do   allowed fool licensed fool, one allowed to say
1.5.95      nothing but rail; nor no railing in a known discreet   anything | rail scold, satirize
      man, though he do nothing but reprove.   a known discreet man a man known to have good
    judgment
      Clown  
      Now Mercury endue thee with leasing, for thou   Mercury (god of guile) | endue endow
      speakest well of fools!   leasing lying
    (In other words, "as a reward for speaking well
      Re-enter MARIA   of fools, may Mercury give you the gift of lying.")
      
      MARIA  
      Madam, there is at the gate a young gentleman   
1.5.100      much desires to speak with you.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      From the Count Orsino, is it?   
      
      MARIA  
      I know not, madam: 'tis a fair young man,   
      and well attended.   well attended accompanied by a good number
    of servants (But when the "gentleman" (Viola)
      OLIVIA   appears, he/she is alone.)
      Who of my people hold him in delay?   
      
      MARIA  
1.5.105      Sir Toby, madam, your kinsman.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Fetch him off, I pray you; he speaks nothing but   
      madman: fie on him!   speaks nothing but madman talks crazy
      
      Exit MARIA     
      
      Go you, Malvolio: if it be a suit from the count, I   suit request, plea
      am sick, or not at home; what you will, to dismiss it.   what you will say whatever you want
      
      Exit MALVOLIO     
      
1.5.110      Now you see, sir, how your fooling grows old, and   
      people dislike it.   
      
      Clown  
      Thou hast spoke for us, madonna, as if thy eldest   us i.e., fools
      son should be a fool; whose skull Jove cram with   as if thy eldest son should be a fool as if you
      brains! for—here he comes—one of thy kin has a   wanted your oldest son to go into the fool business
1.5.115      most weak pia mater.   pia mater brain
      
      Enter SIR TOBY BELCH     
      
      OLIVIA  
      By mine honour, half drunk. What is he at   What what sort of man
      the gate, cousin?   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      A gentleman.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      A gentleman! What gentleman?   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
1.5.120      'Tis a gentle man here—a plague o' these   
      pickle-herring! How now, sot!   sot drunkard, fool >>>
      
      Clown  
      Good Sir Toby!   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Cousin, cousin, how have you come so early   
      by this lethargy?   lethargy drunken stupor
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
1.5.125      Lechery! I defy lechery. There's one at   
      the gate.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Ay, marry, what is he?   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Let him be the devil, an he will, I care not;   an he will if he wants to
      give me faith, say I. Well, it's all one.   faith religious faith (to protect him against the
    devil) | it's all one it doesn't matter, whatever, etc.
      Exit SIR TOBY BELCH     
      
      OLIVIA  
1.5.130      What's a drunken man like, fool?   
      
      Clown  
      Like a drowned man, a fool and a mad man.   
      One draught above heat makes him a fool,   One draught above heat one drink more than
      the second mads him; and a third drowns him.   what it takes to make one pleasantly warm
      
      OLIVIA  
      Go thou and seek the crowner, and let him sit   crowner coroner
1.5.135      o' my coz; for he's in the third degree of drink,   sit o' hold an inquest concerning | coz Short for
      he's drowned. Go, look after him.   "cousin," which means "kinsman." (Olivia's joke
    is that because Toby is dead drunk, he's a case for
      Clown   the coroner.)
      He is but mad yet, madonna; and the fool shall   
      look to the madman.   
      
      Exit Clown     
      
      Re-enter MALVOLIO     
      
      MALVOLIO  
      Madam, yond young fellow swears he will speak   
1.5.140      with you. I told him you were sick; he takes on him   
      to understand so much, and therefore comes to   therefore for that very reason
      speak with you. I told him you were asleep; he seems   
      to have a foreknowledge of that too, and therefore   
      comes to speak with you. What is to be said to   
1.5.145      him, lady? he's fortified against any denial.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Tell him he shall not speak with me.   
      
      MALVOLIO  
      H'as been told so; and he says, he'll stand at your   H'as he has
      door like a sheriff's post, and be the supporter to   sheriff's post a post standing at the door of a
      a bench, but he'll speak with you.   sheriff's office, used for posting official notices
      
      OLIVIA  
1.5.150      What kind o' man is he?   
      
      MALVOLIO  
      Why, of mankind.   of mankind human (Malvolio sees nothing
    special about Viola/Cesario.)
      OLIVIA  
      What manner of man?   
      
      MALVOLIO  
      Of very ill manner; he'll speak with you,   
      will you or no.   
      
      OLIVIA  
1.5.155      Of what personage and years is he?   personage appearance
      
      MALVOLIO  
      Not yet old enough for a man, nor young enough   
      for a boy; as a squash is before 'tis a peascod, or   squash unripe pea pod | peascod pea pod
      a codling when 'tis almost an apple. 'Tis with him   codling unripe apple
      in standing water, between boy and man. He is   in standing water at the turn of the tide
1.5.160      very well-favoured and he speaks very shrewishly.   well-favoured good-looking | shrewishly sharply
      One would think his mother's milk were scarce   
      out of him.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Let him approach: call in my gentlewoman.   
      
      MALVOLIO  
      Gentlewoman, my lady calls.   
      
      Exit MALVOLIO     
      
      Re-enter MARIA     
      
      OLIVIA  
1.5.165      Give me my veil; come, throw it o'er my face.   
      We'll once more hear Orsino's embassy.   
      
      Enter VIOLA     
      
      VIOLA  
      The honourable lady of the house, which is she?   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Speak to me; I shall answer for her.   
      Your will?   
      
      VIOLA  
1.5.170      Most radiant, exquisite and unmatchable beauty—   
      I pray you, tell me if this be the lady of the house,   
      for I never saw her: I would be loath to cast away   I would be loath to cast away I would hate to
      my speech, for besides that it is excellently well   waste
      penned, I have taken great pains to con it. Good   con memorize
1.5.175      beauties, let me sustain no scorn; I am very   
      comptible, even to the least sinister usage.   comptible sensitive
    the least sinister usage the slightest disrespect
      OLIVIA  
      Whence came you, sir?   Whence from what family or country (Olivia is
    taking a personal interest in this young gentleman.)
      VIOLA  
      I can say little more than I have studied, and that   
      question's out of my part. Good gentle one, give me   out of my part not part of the role I'm supposed
1.5.180      modest assurance if you be the lady of the house,   to play | modest serious, sincere
      that I may proceed in my speech.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Are you a comedian?   comedian actor
      
      VIOLA  
      No, my profound heart: and yet, by the very fangs   profound very wise
      of malice I swear, I am not that I play. Are you   
1.5.185      the lady of the house?   
      
      OLIVIA  
      If I do not usurp myself, I am.   usurp wrongly take the place of
      
      VIOLA  
      Most certain, if you are she, you do usurp   
      yourself; for what is yours to bestow is not yours   what is yours to bestow i.e., love
      to reserve. But this is from my commission; I will   reserve keep back >>>
1.5.190      on with my speech in your praise, and then show   from my commission outside the limits
      you the heart of my message.   of my instructions
      
      OLIVIA  
      Come to what is important in't: I forgive you   forgive excuse from a duty
      the praise.   
      
      VIOLA  
      Alas, I took great pains to study it, and   
1.5.195      'tis poetical.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      It is the more like to be feigned: I pray you,   feigned pretended, insincere
      keep it in. I heard you were saucy at my gates,   keep it in keep it to yourself
      and allowed your approach rather to wonder at you   approach i.e., this interview with me
      than to hear you. If you be not mad, be gone; if   If you be not mad, be gone >>>
1.5.200      you have reason, be brief: 'tis not that time of   reason rationality, sanity
      moon with me to make one in so skipping a dialogue.   time of phase of the >>> | make one in take part in
    skipping flighty, helter-skelter
      MARIA  
      Will you hoist sail, sir? Here lies your way.   Here lies your way i.e., you can go out this way
    (Maria is probably pointing to the door.)
      VIOLA  
      No, good swabber; I am to hull here a little   swabber ship's petty officer, in charge of keeping
      longer. Some mollification for your giant, sweet   the decks clean | hull drift with sails furled
1.5.205      lady. Tell me your mind—I am a messenger.   Some mollification for your giant i.e., call off
    your guardian giant (Maria is tiny.)
      OLIVIA  
      Sure, you have some hideous matter to deliver,   
      when the courtesy of it is so fearful. Speak your office.   courtesy of introduction to | fearful frightening
    office business
      VIOLA  
      It alone concerns your ear. I bring no overture   overture declaration
      of war, no taxation of homage: I hold the olive   taxation of homage demand for tribute
1.5.210      in my hand; my words are as full of peace as   olive i.e., olive branch of peace
      matter.   matter important meaning
      
      OLIVIA  
      Yet you began rudely. What are you? What   
      would you?   
      
      VIOLA  
      The rudeness that hath appeared in me have I   
1.5.215      learned from my entertainment. What I am, and   entertainment (rude) reception (by your people)
      what I would, are as secret as maidenhead: to   maidenhead virginity, the hymen
      your ears, divinity, to any other's, profanation.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Give us the place alone: we will hear this   
      divinity.   
      
      Exeunt MARIA and Attendants     
      
1.5.220      Now, sir, what is your text?   your text gospel passage upon which you will
    preach (Olivia mockingly takes "divinity" to mean
      VIOLA   "a sermon.")
      Most sweet lady—   
      
      OLIVIA  
      A comfortable doctrine, and much may be said   comfortable full of comfort
      of it. Where lies your text?   
      
      VIOLA  
      In Orsino's bosom.   
      
      OLIVIA  
1.5.225      In his bosom! In what chapter of his bosom?   
      
      VIOLA  
      To answer by the method, in the first of his   by the method following the usual way (of
      heart.   beginning a sermon)
    
      OLIVIA  
      O, I have read it; it is heresy. Have you no   
      more to say?   
      
      VIOLA  
1.5.230      Good madam, let me see your face.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Have you any commission from your lord to   
      negotiate with my face? You are now out of your   
      text; but we will draw the curtain and show you the   out of your text wandering away from your topic
      picture. Look you, sir, such a one I was this present.   this present at the present time
      
      Unveiling     
      
1.5.235      Is't not well done?   
      
      VIOLA  
      Excellently done, if God did all.   if God did all (Cesario/Viola is hinting that Olivia
    might be using a lot of make-up.)
      OLIVIA  
      'Tis in grain, sir; 'twill endure wind and   in grain i.e., not painted on
      weather.   
      
      VIOLA  
      'Tis beauty truly blent, whose red and white   blent blended
1.5.240      Nature's own sweet and cunning hand laid on:   cunning skillful
      Lady, you are the cruell'st she alive,   she woman
      If you will lead these graces to the grave   
      And leave the world no copy.   If . . . And leave the world no copy >>>
      
      OLIVIA  
      O, sir, I will not be so hard-hearted; I will give out   
1.5.245      divers schedules of my beauty. It shall be inventoried,   divers several | schedules itemized lists (Such a list
      and every particle and utensil labelled to my will:   is also a "copy.") | particle and utensil i.e., every
      as, item, two lips, indifferent red; item, two grey eyes,   little thing | labelled to my will added as a codicil
      with lids to them; item, one neck, one chin, and   to my will | indifferent more or less
      so forth.Were you sent hither to praise me?   praise (Puns on "appraise.")
      
      VIOLA  
1.5.250      I see you what you are, you are too proud;   
      But, if you were the devil, you are fair.   if even if | the devil i.e., the proudest creature
      My lord and master loves you. O, such love   that ever lived
      Could be but recompensed, though you were crown'd   but recompensed only fairly repaid
      The nonpareil of beauty!   nonpareil one without an equal >>>
      
      OLIVIA  
                                   How does he love me?   
      
      VIOLA  
1.5.255      With adorations, fertile tears,   fertile ever-growing
      With groans that thunder love, with sighs of fire.   
      
      OLIVIA  
      Your lord does know my mind; I cannot love him:   
      Yet I suppose him virtuous, know him noble,   suppose believe as a fact
      Of great estate, of fresh and stainless youth;   Of great estate wealthy and important
1.5.260      In voices well divulged, free, learn'd and valiant;   stainless unstained | In voices well divulged well
      And in dimension and the shape of nature   spoken of | free generous
      A gracious person. But yet I cannot love him.   dimension and the shape of nature physique
      He might have took his answer long ago.   gracious person pleasing figure of a man
      
      VIOLA  
      If I did love you in my master's flame,   in my master's flame with my master's passion
1.5.265      With such a suffering, such a deadly life,   deadly life death in life
      In your denial I would find no sense;   
      I would not understand it.   
      
      OLIVIA  
                                     Why, what would you?   
      
      VIOLA  
      Make me a willow cabin at your gate,   willow (Willow was a symbol of unrequited love.)
      And call upon my soul within the house;   my soul i.e., Olivia
1.5.270      Write loyal cantons of contemned love   cantons cantos, songs | contemned rejected
      And sing them loud even in the dead of night;   
      Halloo your name to the reverberate hills   reverberate resounding
      And make the babbling gossip of the air   the babbling gossip of the air echo
      Cry out "Olivia!" O, You should not rest   
1.5.275      Between the elements of air and earth,   Between . . . air and earth i.e., anywhere
      But you should pity me!   But you should pity me until you came to pity me
      
      OLIVIA  
                                  You might do much.   
      What is your parentage?   
      
      VIOLA  
      Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:   Above better than | my fortunes what I happen to
      I am a gentleman.   be at the moment | my state is well i.e., I'm satisfied
    with my present position.
      OLIVIA  
                            Get you to your lord;   
1.5.280      I cannot love him; let him send no more—   
      Unless, perchance, you come to me again,   
      To tell me how he takes it. Fare you well.   
      I thank you for your pains. Spend this for me.   Spend this for me (She offers Cesario/Viola a tip.)
      
      VIOLA  
      I am no fee'd post, lady; keep your purse;   fee'd post paid messenger
1.5.285      My master, not myself, lacks recompense.   
      Love make his heart of flint that you shall love;   Love . . . love May Love make the man with whom
      And let your fervor, like my master's, be   you fall in love have a heart of flint.
      Placed in contempt! Farewell, fair cruelty.   fair cruelty beautiful cruel one
      
      Exit VIOLA     
      
      OLIVIA  
      "What is your parentage?"   
1.5.290      "Above my fortunes, yet my state is well:   
      I am a gentleman." I'll be sworn thou art;   
      Thy tongue, thy face, thy limbs, actions and spirit,   tongue manner of speaking
      Do give thee five-fold blazon. Not too fast! Soft, soft!   five-fold blazon >>> | Soft hold on, go slowly
      Unless the master were the man. How now!   the man the man-servant of the master >>>
1.5.295      Even so quickly may one catch the plague?   the plague i.e., love-sickness
      Methinks I feel this youth's perfections   
      With an invisible and subtle stealth   
      To creep in at mine eyes. Well, let it be.   
      What ho, Malvolio!   
      
      Re-enter MALVOLIO     
      
      MALVOLIO  
                             Here, madam, at your service.   
      
      OLIVIA  
1.5.300      Run after that same peevish messenger,   
      The County's man. He left this ring behind him,   County's Count's, i.e., Duke Orsino's
      Would I or not. Tell him I'll none of it.   Would I or not whether I wanted it or not (She's
      Desire him not to flatter with his lord,   lying; Viola left no ring.)
      Nor hold him up with hopes. I am not for him.   flatter with his lord i.e., flatter Orsino with the
1.5.305      If that the youth will come this way to-morrow,   idea that he still has a chance to win Olivia's love
      I'll give him reasons for't. Hie thee, Malvolio.   reasons for't i.e., reasons why she cannot love
    Orsino | Hie hasten
      MALVOLIO  
      Madam, I will.   
      
      Exit MALVOLIO     
      
      OLIVIA  
      I do I know not what, and fear to find   
      Mine eye too great a flatterer for my mind.   flatterer seducer, tempter
1.5.310      Fate, show thy force: ourselves we do not owe;   owe own
1.5.311      What is decreed must be, and be this so.   be this so (She hopes that love between herself
    and the young gentleman is one of those things
      Exit OLIVIA   that fate has decreed.)