Twelfth Night: Act 2, Scene 3

      Enter SIR TOBY BELCH and SIR ANDREW     
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
2.3.1      Approach, Sir Andrew: not to be abed after   
      midnight is to be up betimes; and "diluculo   betimes in good time
      surgere," thou know'st—   diluculo surgere (The first two words of a Latin
    maxim which says, "to get up at dawn is very
      SIR ANDREW   healthful."
      Nay, by my troth, I know not; but   by my troth on my word
2.3.5      I know, to be up late is to be up late.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      A false conclusion: I hate it as an unfilled can.   can tankard
      To be up after midnight and to go to bed then,   
      is early: so that to go to bed after midnight is to   
      go to bed betimes. Does not our life consist of   
2.3.10      the four elements?   the four elements earth, water, air, and fire, the
    elements out of which everything is made >>>
      SIR ANDREW  
      Faith, so they say; but I think it rather consists   
      of eating and drinking.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Thou'rt a scholar; let us therefore eat and drink.   Thou'rt a scholar i.e., You're so smart!
      Marian, I say! a stoup of wine!   stoup large drinking cup
      
      Enter Clown     
      
      SIR ANDREW  
2.3.15      Here comes the fool, i' faith.   
      
      Clown  
      How now, my hearts! did you never see   
      the picture of "we three"?   the picture of "we three" a picture of two fools
    or two asses (It's "we three" because the viewer
      SIR TOBY BELCH   is the third. The Clown is saying they're fools, too.)
      Welcome, ass. Now let's have a catch.   catch round (a song which two or more singers
    enter at different times, singing the same lyrics)
      SIR ANDREW  
      By my troth, the fool has an excellent breast. I   breast breath, singing ability
2.3.20      had rather than forty shillings I had such a leg,   such a leg (Perhaps the Clown is showing his leg in
      and so sweet a breath to sing, as the fool has. In   an elaborate bow.)
      sooth, thou wast in very gracious fooling last night,   gracious delightful, inspired
      when thou spokest of Pigrogromitus, of the Vapians   Pigrogromitus . . . Queubus (The Clown was
      passing the equinoctial of Queubus: 'twas very good,   talking some nonsense that sounded astrological.)
2.3.25      i' faith. I sent thee sixpence for thy leman: hadst it?   equinoctial equator of the heavens
    leman sweetheart
      Clown  
      I did impeticos thy gratillity; for Malvolio's nose   impeticos pocket up? | gartillity little gratuity?
      is no whipstock: my lady has a white hand, and   whipstock whip handle
      the Myrmidons are no bottle-ale houses.   Myrmidons Achilles' troop
    bottle-ale houses low-class taverns, which sell
      SIR ANDREW   bottled, rather than draft, ale >>>
      Excellent! why, this is the best fooling, when all   
2.3.30      is done. Now, a song.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Come on; there is sixpence for you: let's have   
      a song.   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      There's a testril of me too: if one knight   testril (A "tester" is a coin worth sixpence;
      give a—   Sir Andrew imitates the Clown's invention of
    "gratillity" by changing "tester" into "testril.")
      Clown  
2.3.35      Would you have a love-song, or a song of   
      good life?   good life virtuous living
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      A love-song, a love-song.   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      Ay, ay. I care not for good life.   
      
      Clown [Sings] 
            O mistress mine, where are you roaming?   
2.3.40            O, stay and hear; your true love's coming,   
                 That can sing both high and low:   
            Trip no further, pretty sweeting;   Trip run lightly | sweeting sweet one
            Journeys end in lovers meeting,   in lovers meeting when lovers meet
                 Every wise man's son doth know.   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
2.3.45      Excellent good, i' faith.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Good, good.   
      
      Clown [Sings]  
            What is love? 'tis not hereafter;   
            Present mirth hath present laughter;   
                 What's to come is still unsure:   still always
2.3.50            In delay there lies no plenty;   
            Then come kiss me, sweet and twenty,   sweet and twenty sweet and twenty times
                 Youth's a stuff will not endure.   more sweet
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      A mellifluous voice, as I am true knight.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      A contagious breath.   contagious breath catchy song; also stinking
    breath
      SIR ANDREW  
2.3.55      Very sweet and contagious, i' faith.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      To hear by the nose, it is dulcet in contagion.   To . . . contagion i.e., If the song could be heard
      But shall we make the welkin dance indeed? shall   via the nose, it would be sweetly stinking.
      we rouse the night-owl in a catch that will draw   welkin heavens
      three souls out of one weaver? shall we do that?   draw three souls out of one weaver >>>
      
      SIR ANDREW  
2.3.60      An you love me, let's do't: I am dog at   An If | dog at very good at
      a catch.   
      
      Clown  
      By'r lady, sir, and some dogs will catch well.   By'r lady By Our Lady, i.e., well said, you're
    so right, etc. | some dogs will catch well >>>
      SIR ANDREW  
      Most certain. Let our catch be, "Thou   
      knave."   knave rascal, upstart, cheat,
      
      Clown  
2.3.65      "Hold thy peace, thou knave," knight? I shall   Hold thy peace Be quiet, Shut up (Besides "Hold
      be constrained in't to call thee knave, knight.   thy peace, thou knave," the only other words of
    the catch are, "and I prithee hold thy peace.")
      SIR ANDREW  
      'Tis not the first time I have constrained one to   'Tis . . . knave (Sir Andrew means he has challenged
      call me knave. Begin, fool: it begins "Hold thy   men to duels by daring them to call him a knave,
      peace."   but what it sounds like is that he has done such
    stupid things that people have had to call
      Clown   him "knave.")
2.3.70      I shall never begin if I hold my peace.   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      Good, i' faith. Come, begin.   
      
      Catch sung   Catch sung (Here we hear two drunks and a fool sing
     a round in which each one tells the next one that he
      Enter MARIA    is a knave and should shut up.)
      
      MARIA  
      What a caterwauling do you keep here! If my lady   keep keep up (Like "Ninety-nine bottles of beer on
      have not called up her steward Malvolio and bid    the wall," "Thou knave" can go on and on and on.)
      him turn you out of doors, never trust me.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
2.3.75      My lady's a Cataian, we are politicians,   
      Malvolio's a Peg-a-Ramsey, and [sings] "Three merry     Cataian . . . politicians . . . Peg-a-Ramsey >>>
      men be we." Am not I consanguineous? am I not   "Three merry men be we." (A fragment of an old
      of her blood? Tillyvally! Lady! [Sings]   song.) | Tillyvally nonsense, fiddle-faddle
      "There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady!"   "There dwelt a man in Babylon, lady, lady!"
      (Another fragment from another old song.)
      Clown  
2.3.80      Beshrew me, the knight's in admirable fooling.   Beshrew me (A mild oath, like "Dang me.")
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      Ay, he does well enough if he be disposed,   be disposed is in the mood
      and so do I too. He does it with a better grace,   
      but I do it more natural.   natural naturally (But a "natural" is an idiot,
    so Sir Andrew has once again made fun of himself,
      SIR TOBY BELCH [Sings]   without realizing it.)
      "O, the twelfth day of December"—   "O, the twelfth day of December" (Still another
     fragment from an old song.)
      MARIA  
2.3.85      For the love o' God, peace!   peace! quiet!
      
      Enter MALVOLIO     
      
      MALVOLIO  
      My masters, are you mad? or what are you? Have   
      ye no wit, manners, nor honesty, but to gabble like   honesty decency
      tinkers at this time of night? Do ye make an   tinkers (Tinkers were reputed to be foul-mouthed
      alehouse of my lady's house, that ye squeak out your    drunkards.)
2.3.90      coziers' catches without any mitigation or remorse   coziers' cobblers'
      of voice? Is there no respect of place, persons, nor   mitigation or remorse lowering (of your voice)
      time in you?   out of regard for others
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      We did keep time, sir, in our catches.   
      Sneck up!   Sneck up! Go hang!
      
      MALVOLIO  
2.3.95      Sir Toby, I must be round with you. My lady bade   round blunt, up-front | bade ordered
      me tell you, that, though she harbours you as her   harbours you gives you a place to stay
      kinsman, she's nothing allied to your disorders. If   nothing allied to no kin to
      you can separate yourself and your misdemeanors,   
      you are welcome to the house; if not, an it would   an if
2.3.100      please you to take leave of her, she is very willing   
      to bid you farewell.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH [Sings] 
      "Farewell, dear heart, since I must needs be gone."   "Farewell . . . " (This and the following sung lines
    are from a sentimental ballad, Corydon's Farewell
      MARIA   to Phillis.)
      Nay, good Sir Toby.   
      
      Clown [Sings.] 
      "His eyes do show his days are almost done."   
      
      MALVOLIO  
2.3.105      Is't even so?   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH [Sings.]  
      "But I will never die."   
      
      Clown  
      Sir Toby, there you lie.   
      
      MALVOLIO  
      This is much credit to you.   credit honor (Malvolio is being heavily ironic.)
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH [Sings.]  
      "Shall I bid him go?"   
      
      Clown [Sings.]  
2.3.110      "What an if you do?"   an if if
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH [Sings.]  
      "Shall I bid him go, and spare not?"   
      
      Clown [Sings.]  
      "O no, no, no, no, you dare not."   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      [To Clown.] Out o' tune, sir! ye lie.   ye lie you're lying (because I certainly do dare
      [To Malvolio.] Art any more than a steward?   to tell Malvolio where to go)
2.3.115      Dost thou think, because thou art virtuous   
      there shall be no more cakes and ale?   cakes and ale i.e., party food and drink
      
      Clown  
      Yes, by Saint Anne, and ginger shall be   Saint Anne mother of the the Virgin (Puritans
      hot i' the mouth too.   objected to her cult.) | ginger (Commonly used
    to spice ale.)
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Thou'rt i' the right. Go, sir, rub your chain   rub (to polish it) | chain i.e., the decorative chain
2.3.120      with crumbs. A stoup of wine, Maria!   that Malvolio wears as a badge of his office as
    steward to Olivia.
      MALVOLIO  
      Mistress Mary, if you prized my lady's favour   
      at any thing more than contempt, you would not   
      give means for this uncivil rule. She shall know   give means for this uncivil rule i.e., provide the
      of it, by this hand.   wine that lubricates this rowdy behavior (Sir Toby
    has just called for wine, and Malvolio is outraged
      Exit MALVOLIO   that she is serving it.)
      
      MARIA  
2.3.125      Go shake your ears.   Go shake your ears (Since they are long ass's ears.)
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      'Twere as good a deed as to drink when a man's   
      a-hungry, to challenge him the field, and then to   to challenge him the field to challenge him to a duel
      break promise with him and make a fool of him.   break promise with him i.e., not show up at the duel
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Do't, knight: I'll write thee a challenge: or I'll   
2.3.130      deliver thy indignation to him by word of mouth.   
      
      MARIA  
      Sweet Sir Toby, be patient for tonight: since the   
      youth of the Count's was today with thy lady, she   
      is much out of quiet. For Monsieur Malvolio, let   much out of quiet upset, distracted
      me alone with him: if I do not gull him into a   let me alone with him leave him to me | gull trick
2.3.135      ayword, and make him a common recreation, do   ayword byword (for an ass)
      not think I have wit enough to lie straight in my   common recreation general laughingstock
      bed. I know I can do it.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Possess us, possess us; tell us something   Possess us Inform us, tell us your plan
      of him.   
      
      MARIA  
2.3.140      Marry, sir, sometimes he is a kind of puritan.   puritan puritan; also of the Puritan party in
    the Anglican church.
      SIR ANDREW  
      O, if I thought that I'ld beat him like a   (Maybe Sir Andrew has a prejudice against the
      dog!   religious Puritans, but he's probably just shooting
    his mouth off.)
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      What, for being a puritan? thy exquisite reason,   exquisite amusingly clever
      dear knight?   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
2.3.145      I have no exquisite reason for't, but I have reason   
      good enough.   
      
      MARIA  
      The dev'l a puritan that he is, or any thing constantly,   The dev'l a puritan that he is i.e., Like hell he's a
      but a time-pleaser; an affectioned ass, that cons   puritan | time-pleaser suck-up | affectioned affected
      state without book and utters it by great swarths; the   cons state without book memorizes the sayings of
2.3.150      best persuaded of himself, so crammed, as he thinks,   great men | utters it by great swarths spews it out in
      with excellencies, that it is his grounds of faith   huge chunks | the best persuaded of himself having
      that all that look on him love him; and on that vice in   such a high opinion of himself
      him will my revenge find notable cause to work.   grounds of faith fundamental belief
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      What wilt thou do?   
      
      MARIA  
2.3.155      I will drop in his way some obscure epistles of   
      love; wherein, by the colour of his beard, the shape   obscure epistles of love ambiguously worded
      of his leg, the manner of his gait, the expressure   love-letters | expressure expression
      of his eye, forehead, and complexion, he shall find   complexion general appearance
      himself most feelingly personated. I can write very   most feelingly personated exactly represented
2.3.160      like my lady your niece: on a forgotten matter we   a forgotten matter i.e., anything written so long
      can hardly make distinction of our hands.   ago that they can't remember who wrote it
    our hands our handwriting
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Excellent! I smell a device.   device trick, plot
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      I have't in my nose too.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      He shall think, by the letters that thou wilt drop,   
2.3.165      that they come from my niece, and that she's in   
      love with him.   
      
      MARIA  
      My purpose is, indeed, a horse of that colour.   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      And your horse now would make him an   
      ass.   
      
      MARIA  
2.3.170      Ass, I doubt not.   Ass . . . not. i.e., both of: "An ass Malvolio will be,
     I am certain," and "Ass (Sir Andrew), I am certain."
      SIR ANDREW  
      O, 'twill be admirable!   
      
      MARIA  
      Sport royal, I warrant you: I know my physic will   physic medicine, especially the kind that causes
      work with him. I will plant you two, and let the   vomiting, etc. | let the fool make a third (Apparently
      fool make a third, where he shall find the letter:   the Clown left some time ago. Also, it turns out that
2.3.175      observe his construction of it. For this night, to   Fabian, not the Clown, joins Toby and Andrew in
      bed, and dream on the event. Farewell.   observing Malvolio.) | construction interpretation
    event the outcome (of the trick to be played on
      Exit MARIA   Malvolio)
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Good night, Penthesilea.   Penthesilea Queen of the Amazons (Sir Toby is
    making an affectionate joke. Penthesila was large
      SIR ANDREW   and fierce; Maria is small, but just as fierce.)
      Before me, she's a good wench.   Before me i.e., on my soul
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      She's a beagle, true-bred, and one that adores me.   a beagle, true-bred i.e., a good companion and
2.3.180      What o' that?   hunter, just like a purebred beagle
    What o' that? (Sir Toby seems puzzled by Maria's
      SIR ANDREW    affection for him.)
      I was adored once too.   I was adored once too. (Poor Sir Andrew!)
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Let's to bed, knight. Thou hadst need send for   
      more money.   
      
      SIR ANDREW  
      If I cannot recover your niece, I am a foul   recover win | a foul way out stuck in the mud and
2.3.185      way out.    off course (Sir Andrew needs Olivia's money.)
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
      Send for money, knight; if thou hast her not i'   
      the end, call me cut.   cut (A term of abuse, perhaps derived from the use
    of "cut" to refer to a poor quality horse, one that
      SIR ANDREW   has had its tail docked or been gelded.)
      If I do not, never trust me, take it how   
      you will.   
      
      SIR TOBY BELCH  
2.3.190      Come, come, I'll go burn some sack; 'tis too   burn warm up | sack a Spanish wine
      late to go to bed now: come, knight, come,   
2.3.192      knight.   
      
      Exeunt