As You Like It: Act 2, Scene 4

  *        Enter ROSALIND for Ganymede, CELIA for Aliena,
  *        and Clown, alias TOUCHSTONE.

  1   O Jupiter, how weary are my spirits!

  2   I care not for my spirits, if my legs were
  3   not weary.

  4   I could find in my heart to disgrace my man's
  5   apparel and to cry like a woman; but I must
  6   comfort the weaker vessel, as doublet and hose
  7   ought to show itself courageous to petticoat:
  8   therefore courage, good Aliena!

  9   I pray you, bear with me; I cannot go no
 10   further.

 11   For my part, I had rather bear with you than
 12   bear you; yet I should bear no cross if I did
 13   bear you, for I think you have no money in
 14   your purse.

 15   Well, this is the forest of Arden.

 16   Ay, now am I in Arden; the more fool I;
 17   when I was at home, I was in a better place:
 18   but travellers must be content.

           Enter CORIN and SILVIUS.

 19   Ay, be so, good Touchstone. Look you,
 20   who comes here; a young man and an
 21   old in solemn talk.

 22   That is the way to make her scorn you still.

 23   O Corin, that thou knew'st how I do love her!

 24   I partly guess; for I have loved ere now.

 25   No, Corin, being old, thou canst not guess,
 26   Though in thy youth thou wast as true a lover
 27   As ever sigh'd upon a midnight pillow:
 28   But if thy love were ever like to mine—
 29   As sure I think did never man love so—
 30   How many actions most ridiculous
 31   Hast thou been drawn to by thy fantasy?

 32   Into a thousand that I have forgotten.

 33   O, thou didst then ne'er love so heartily!
 34   If thou remember'st not the slightest folly
 35   That ever love did make thee run into,
 36   Thou hast not loved:
 37   Or if thou hast not sat as I do now,
 38   Wearying thy hearer in thy mistress' praise,
 39   Thou hast not loved:
 40   Or if thou hast not broke from company
 41   Abruptly, as my passion now makes me,
 42   Thou hast not loved.
 43   O Phebe, Phebe, Phebe!

           Exit [SILVIUS].

 44   Alas, poor shepherd! searching of thy wound,
 45   I have by hard adventure found mine own.

 46   And I mine. I remember, when I was in love I
 47   broke my sword upon a stone and bid him take
 48   that for coming a-night to Jane Smile; and I
 49   remember the kissing of her batler and the cow's
 50   dugs that her pretty chopt hands had milked; and
 51   I remember the wooing of a peascod instead of her,
 52   from whom I took two cods and, giving her them
 53   again, said with weeping tears 'Wear these for my
 54   sake.' We that are true lovers run into strange
 55   capers; but as all is mortal in nature, so is all nature
 56   in love mortal in folly.

 57   Thou speakest wiser than thou art ware of.

 58   Nay, I shall ne'er be ware of mine own wit
 59   till I break my shins against it.

 60   Jove, Jove! this shepherd's passion
 61   Is much upon my fashion.

 62   And mine; but it grows something stale
 63   with me.

 64   I pray you, one of you question yond man
 65   If he for gold will give us any food:
 66   I faint almost to death.

 66                                             Holla! you clown!

 67   Peace, fool: he's not thy kinsman.

 67                                                           Who calls?

 68   Your betters, sir.

 68                                 Else are they very wretched.

 69   Peace, I say. Good even to you, friend.

 70   And to you, gentle sir, and to you all.

 71   I prithee, shepherd, if that love or gold
 72   Can in this desert place buy entertainment,
 73   Bring us where we may rest ourselves and feed:
 74   Here's a young maid with travel much oppress'd
 75   And faints for succor.

 75                                         Fair sir, I pity her
 76   And wish, for her sake more than for mine own,
 77   My fortunes were more able to relieve her;
 78   But I am shepherd to another man,
 79   And do not shear the fleeces that I graze:
 80   My master is of churlish disposition
 81   And little recks to find the way to heaven
 82   By doing deeds of hospitality:
 83   Besides, his cote, his flocks and bounds of feed
 84   Are now on sale, and at our sheepcote now,
 85   By reason of his absence, there is nothing
 86   That you will feed on; but what is, come see,
 87   And in my voice most welcome shall you be.

 88   What is he that shall buy his flock and pasture?

 89   That young swain that you saw here but erewhile,
 90   That little cares for buying any thing.

 91   I pray thee, if it stand with honesty,
 92   Buy thou the cottage, pasture and the flock,
 93   And thou shalt have to pay for it of us.

 94   And we will mend thy wages. I like this place.
 95   And willingly could waste my time in it.

 96   Assuredly the thing is to be sold.
 97   Go with me; if you like upon report
 98   The soil, the profit and this kind of life,
 99   I will your very faithful feeder be
100   And buy it with your gold right suddenly.