The Tempest: Act 3, Scene 2



           Enter CALIBAN, STEPHANO,
           and TRINCULO.

      STEPHANO
  1   Tell not me; when the butt is out, we will drink
  2   water; not a drop before: therefore bear up, and
  3   board 'em. Servant-monster, drink to me.

      TRINCULO
  4   Servant-monster! the folly of this island! They
  5   say there's but five upon this isle: we are three
  6   of them; if th' other two be brained like us, the
  7   state totters.

      STEPHANO
  8   Drink, servant-monster, when I bid thee: thy eyes
  9   are almost set in thy head.

      TRINCULO
 10   Where should they be set else? he were a brave
 11   monster indeed, if they were set in his tail.

      STEPHANO
 12   My man-monster hath drown'd his tongue in sack:
 13   for my part, the sea cannot drown me; I swam, ere I
 14   could recover the shore, five and thirty leagues off
 15   and on. By this light, thou shalt be my lieutenant,
 16   monster, or my standard.

      TRINCULO
 17   Your lieutenant, if you list; he's no standard.

      STEPHANO
 18   We'll not run, Monsieur Monster.

      TRINCULO
 19   Nor go neither; but you'll lie like dogs and yet say
 20   nothing neither.

      STEPHANO
 21   Moon-calf, speak once in thy life, if thou beest a
 22   good moon-calf.

      CALIBAN
 23   How does thy honour? Let me lick thy shoe.
 24   I'll not serve him; he's not valiant.

      TRINCULO
 25   Thou liest, most ignorant monster: I am in case to
 26   justle a constable. Why, thou deboshed fish thou,
 27   was there ever man a coward that hath drunk so much
 28   sack as I to-day? Wilt thou tell a monstrous lie,
 29   being but half a fish and half a monster?

      CALIBAN
 30   Lo, how he mocks me! wilt thou let him, my
 31   lord?

      TRINCULO
 32   'Lord' quoth he! That a monster should be
 33   such a natural!

      CALIBAN
 34   Lo, lo, again! bite him to death, I prithee.

      STEPHANO
 35   Trinculo, keep a good tongue in your head: if you
 36   prove a mutineer,—the next tree! The poor monster's
 37   my subject and he shall not suffer indignity.

      CALIBAN
 38   I thank my noble lord. Wilt thou be pleased to
 39   hearken once again to the suit I made to thee?

      STEPHANO
 40   Marry, will I. Kneel and repeat it. I will stand,
 41   and so shall Trinculo.

           Enter ARIEL, invisible.

      CALIBAN
 42   As I told thee before, I am subject to a tyrant,
 43   A sorcerer, that by his cunning hath
 44   Cheated me of the island.

      ARIEL
 45   Thou liest.

      CALIBAN
 45                     Thou liest, thou jesting monkey, thou!
 46   I would my valiant master would destroy thee!
 47   I do not lie.

      STEPHANO
 48   Trinculo, if you trouble him any more in's tale, by
 49   this hand, I will supplant some of your teeth.

      TRINCULO
 50   Why, I said nothing.

      STEPHANO
 51   Mum, then, and no more. Proceed.

      CALIBAN
 52   I say, by sorcery he got this isle;
 53   From me he got it. If thy greatness will
 54   Revenge it on him,—for I know thou darest,
 55   But this thing dare not,—

      STEPHANO
 56   That's most certain.

      CALIBAN
 57   Thou shalt be lord of it and I'll serve thee.

      STEPHANO
 58   How now shall this be compassed?
 59   Canst thou bring me to the party?

      CALIBAN
 60   Yea, yea, my lord: I'll yield him thee asleep,
 61   Where thou mayst knock a nail into his bead.

      ARIEL
 62   Thou liest; thou canst not.

      CALIBAN
 63   What a pied ninny's this! Thou scurvy patch!
 64   I do beseech thy greatness, give him blows
 65   And take his bottle from him: when that's gone
 66   He shall drink nought but brine; for I'll not show him
 67   Where the quick freshes are.

      STEPHANO
 68   Trinculo, run into no further danger:
 69   interrupt the monster one word further, and,
 70   by this hand, I'll turn my mercy out o' doors
 71   and make a stock-fish of thee.

      TRINCULO
 72   Why, what did I? I did nothing. I'll go farther
 73   off.

      STEPHANO
 74   Didst thou not say he lied?

      ARIEL
 75   Thou liest.

      STEPHANO
 76   Do I so? take thou that.

           [Beats Trinculo.]

 77   As you like this, give me the lie another time.

      TRINCULO
 78   I did not give the lie. Out o' your
 79   wits and bearing too? A pox o' your bottle!
 80   this can sack and drinking do. A murrain on
 81   your monster, and the devil take your fingers!

      CALIBAN
 82   Ha, ha, ha!

      STEPHANO
 83   Now, forward with your tale. Prithee, stand
 84   farther off.

      CALIBAN
 85   Beat him enough: after a little time
 86   I'll beat him too.

      STEPHANO
 86                             Stand farther. Come, proceed.

      CALIBAN
 87   Why, as I told thee, 'tis a custom with him,
 88   I' th' afternoon to sleep: there thou mayst brain him,
 89   Having first seized his books, or with a log
 90   Batter his skull, or paunch him with a stake,
 91   Or cut his wezand with thy knife. Remember
 92   First to possess his books; for without them
 93   He's but a sot, as I am, nor hath not
 94   One spirit to command: they all do hate him
 95   As rootedly as I. Burn but his books.
 96   He has brave utensils,—for so he calls them—
 97   Which when he has a house, he'll deck withal
 98   And that most deeply to consider is
 99   The beauty of his daughter; he himself
100   Calls her a nonpareil: I never saw a woman,
101   But only Sycorax my dam and she;
102   But she as far surpasseth Sycorax
103   As great'st does least.

      STEPHANO
103                                       Is it so brave a lass?

      CALIBAN
104   Ay, lord; she will become thy bed, I warrant.
105   And bring thee forth brave brood.

      STEPHANO
106   Monster, I will kill this man: his daughter and I
107   will be king and queen—save our graces!—and
108   Trinculo and thyself shall be viceroys. Dost thou
109   like the plot, Trinculo?

      TRINCULO
110   Excellent.

      STEPHANO
111   Give me thy hand: I am sorry I beat thee; but,
112   while thou livest, keep a good tongue in thy head.

      CALIBAN
113   Within this half hour will he be asleep:
114   Wilt thou destroy him then?

      STEPHANO
114                                               Ay, on mine honor.

      ARIEL
115   This will I tell my master.

      CALIBAN
116   Thou makest me merry; I am full of pleasure:
117   Let us be jocund: will you troll the catch
118   You taught me but while-ere?

      STEPHANO
119   At thy request, monster, I will do reason, any
120   reason. Come on, Trinculo, let us sing.

           Sings.

121        Flout 'em and scout 'em
122        And scout 'em and flout 'em
123          Thought is free.

      CALIBAN
124   That's not the tune.

***       Ariel plays the tune on a tabour and pipe.

      STEPHANO
125   What is this same?

      TRINCULO
126   This is the tune of our catch, played by the
127   picture of Nobody.

      STEPHANO
128   If thou beest a man, show thyself in thy likeness:
129   if thou beest a devil, take't as thou list.

      TRINCULO
130   O, forgive me my sins!

      STEPHANO
131   He that dies pays all debts: I defy thee. Mercy
132   upon us!

      CALIBAN
133   Art thou afeard?

      STEPHANO
134   No, monster, not I.

      CALIBAN
135   Be not afeard; the isle is full of noises,
136   Sounds and sweet airs, that give delight and hurt not.
137   Sometimes a thousand twangling instruments
138   Will hum about mine ears, and sometime voices
139   That, if I then had waked after long sleep,
140   Will make me sleep again: and then, in dreaming,
141   The clouds methought would open and show riches
142   Ready to drop upon me that, when I waked,
143   I cried to dream again.

      STEPHANO
144   This will prove a brave kingdom to me, where I shall
145   have my music for nothing.

      CALIBAN
146   When Prospero is destroyed.

      STEPHANO
147   That shall be by and by: I remember the story.

      TRINCULO
148   The sound is going away; let's follow it, and
149   after do our work.

      STEPHANO
150   Lead, monster; we'll follow. I would I could see
151   this tabourer; he lays it on.

      TRINCULO
152   Wilt come? I'll follow, Stephano.

           Exeunt.